Reisun.org

I guess one of the signs of aging for everyone is the accumulation of personal “life lessons.” Often the need to impart one’s hard-learned lessons to progeny, or to any unfortunate passer-by, is irresistible. As I don’t have a family to corner, I thought I would impart my wisdom to the blogosphere, where I am sure it will be not only ignored, but unseen.

I would classify my life so far in stages:

• teens: Formative years, trying new things, making mistakes, generally not experienced enough to know how great life is.
• twenties: Time for hubris, know-it-all stage. Highly educated, possibilities and potential for the future seem endless. Experienced just enough to feel this is the best time of life, but in no hurry to self-reflect or reality-check.
• thirties: I’m half-way through the thirties, and I’m already tired, overworked, and close to despair. Not for any particular reason or cause, just an accumulation of myriads of affronts, experiences, disappointments. Life is neither a dizzying high, nor a soul crushing low, but something worse-a daily grind that loses it purpose. Start to ask questions of “Why am I here?” “Do I make a difference?” “Should I even try?” Become cynical to the realities of the world, from petty self-centeredness (my own as well as others’). Have done the courtship-marriage-divorce thing, and am in no great need to go through it again. Go out with more women than in the other two periods combined, and have even “gotten lucky” but no emotional bonds. All in all a nihilistic experience.

Very depressing I know, but in the despair there are kernels of hope. I still have dreams and aspirations, although I am more reserved and realistic to whether I actually will accomplish them. Happiness seems to be tired very closely to how much sleep I am getting.

Have gone through the conspicuous-consumption-to-make-me-feel-better phase, now I don’t really need or want anything, just some peace and quiet, and a sense of hope for a better future, mine and for the world.

So what are the lessons learned?

1. It is all about longevity: I am sure the brilliant and the lucky will disagree, but for me it is all about longevity. “Slow and steady” and all that. It doesnt matter how great or brilliant you, your idea, or your work are, if you don’t have the commitment, temperament, and ability to “go the distance” and carry it out to the end it is meaningless. This also means you must pace yourself. Don’t burn out too quickly, as I seem to have done already.
2. Know yourself: Everybody wants to be happy. The trouble is that it is very hard to objectively know yourself enough to even begin to make plans to be happy. What kind of person are you? Someone who likes challenges for the sake of being challenged? Someone who is a contrarian, and can be goaded into doing anything, so long as someone says “don’t” or “can’t”? Or are you content to doing exactly what makes you happy, without regard to status, salary, and sex-appeal? I must confess I still havent figured this one out. I am currently in a job that is high status and good salary, but it isn’t my true love. It isn’t even close.
3. Be flexible: Life is all about twists and turns, and being able and prepared to follow along without giving up too much of who you are. There are plenty of grown-up people who can’t adapt, are too inflexible to change their thinking or their actions as the situation changes. There are also those who are like willows in the wind, who bend and curve with the prevailing conditions, and in effect don’t stand for or believe in anything. I am probably more the latter these days.

These are more points to ponder, and not a prescription or proscription. More random thoughts than a coherent musing.

As I contemplate a career change, from military related to health related, I wonder how best can we improve the health care system of the US. By now, I think everyone would argee that we have serious problems. It’s just that no one wants to make the difficult choices to “fix” it, or can’t seem to agree what a “fix” would constitute.

One common complaint I hear about universal healthcare is lack of choice (which I can’t answer to). The other seems to be the sentiment of “why should my taxes pay for the healthcare of someone [poor,lazy,etc]?” I think this is incredibly short-sighted. How can our companies, large and small, compete internationally with other companies that don’t have to worry about pensions or healthcare? Rather than think so parochially about whether a fellow American might deserve your tax dollars in health care, you should worry about some other country’s citizens stealing your job or livelihood because they are cheaper to employ.

• Erica Durance: On Smallville, she plays Lois Lane. She has a certain hotness+beauty that is indescribable!
• HTC TyTn/Cingular 8525: I got interested in this phone because I have been looking for jobs in Japan, and wanted a phone that I could use here and over there. This apparently is one of the few cell phones sold here that can handle W-CDMA, which is what DoCoMo in Japan uses. Of course, roaming and/or service signup are details that need to be resolved, but at least the possibility of reuse is attractive to me. Plus it appears to be a useful PDA to boot. Unfortunately it’s also pretty expensive, even with the (business) premier discount. And my current phone(s) don’t support GSM, so switching to Cingular means switching to using SIM cards and all.
• MF, someone I met recently and with whom I was about to take to the next level, but she was diagnosed with leukemia and is now back in her country undergoing treatment. We still communicate and I send her gifts, cards, and words of encouragement.
• Job hunt. I’m sick of working for *********, and I need a change.